reticence | Recolle Inbox;

I'm killing time until it's an acceptable hour for dessert wine.

[ He reaches for the hand resting on his thigh, laces fingers through it. ]

Is this a no to watching something?

[Faolan turns his hand in Laurent's, moving to run his thumb over the younger man's knuckles, shrugging slightly as he does.]

It isn't a no. But you've never been one to watch a film before. And neither have I been, really. If there's something you're interested in, put it on. If you're just looking to kill time, I'd rather you spent it doing something you enjoyed more. So long as you don't mind me hanging about you as you did.

Well if that's the case I suppose I'll read a book.

[ He legs go of Faolan and swings his legs back to the ground, pushes to his feet and ruffles at Faolan's hair lightly. ]

Would you like anything while I'm up? You can put on some music.

[ But Laurent may as well get himself some tea while he's fetching his book. ]

[Faolan sits back and follows the younger man's movements as he swings up to stand above him, letting out the huff of a breath as Laurent's hands tangle through his hair but not protesting it either.]

Some water, maybe?

[He cracks a soft smile at Laurent as he continues to ask:]

Giving me the choice of background music? It must be a special day.

Don't push it.

[ He pads away to his room to retrieve his book, returns with it and sets it on the kitchen counter while he begins making himself some tea and filling a glass with water for Faolan.

Laurent brings over the glass of water first, hands it to Faolan before returning to wait for his water to boil. Then a moment later he's returning with some herbal tea, setting it down on the low table and curling up back into his seat with his book.

It's a fiction book, by the looks of it, which the cover proclaims is a New York Times Bestseller and appears (from the short review snippets) to be a thriller. ]

[As Laurent disappears into the bedroom, Faolan stands and fiddles with the sound system until he's got his own playlist of music playing. Making himself comfortable once more in time to watch Laurent reappear with his book in his hand.

He takes the water from the younger man, watching him pad around the kitchen fixing his tea while he waits for him to return. Glancing curiously at the book as he watches Laurent sit down but giving him a few moments to settle before he speaks up to ask:]

What are you reading?

[He's not certain whether he's ever really paid attention to Laurent's taste in reading. He always seems to be doing so much homework, he's almost surprised to see it isn't somehow related to that.]

Edited (oops forgot the music) 2017-12-17 15:30 (UTC)

I'm learning how to commit the perfect murder, for when I finally grow tired of you.

[ Laurent turns a page, casually as if this is a perfectly normal answer. ]

[Faolan raises his eyebrows at that, before taking another glance at the cover of the book. Just what is he reading anyway? Faolan shifts in his seat, moving closer to him until he has squeezed himself up against Laurent's side so that he might be able to glance at the book over the other man's shoulder.]

You always say the kindest things. If I were a weaker man, I might actually be concerned, here.

If you were a weaker man, you'd have quit by now. That's why I'll have to resort to something more drastic when this all goes downhill.

[ As a rule, Laurent finds reading over his shoulder irritating, but he tilts his book just enough for Faolan to be nosy. The page begins:

The first forty-eight hours are key in any investigation. She had been gone, now, almost a week. A candlelight vigil would be held this evening in Tom Sawyer Park, which, according to the press, was a "favourite place of her's." (I'd never known her to set foot in the park; despite the name, it is not remotely quaint. Generic, bereft of trees, with a sandbox that's always full of animal faeces; it is utterly un-Twainy) ]

Edited 2017-12-17 23:54 (UTC)

[Faolan frowns at the excerpt over Laurent's shoulder, unsettled by the idea of Laurent doing research to get rid of him, fictional or otherwise, before moving to settle his head on Laurent's shoulder instead. Uncertain as to whether Laurent will let him keep it there, but willing to find out either way.]

Are you anticipating that, then? This going downhill? Or do you simply make it a rule to plan for the eventuality of everything?

[ Laurent glances sideways at Faolan, slightly shifts his weight to get more comfortable but doesn't try to dislodge him. It... isn't something he's used to, and he feels a little awkward because of that, but... it isn't bad. ]

Do you think it might? I prefer to have a plan in case. You know too many of my secrets.

[ ... Whatever those secrets may be. Laurent doesn't seem inclined to specify, merely turning his attention to the next page of his book and moving a finger in preparation for turning it. ]

[Faolan will move if Laurent asks, but. He likes this. Sitting close to each other like this, being together like this. He'd like it if Laurent liked it too, but he'd respect if he didn't.

He gives Laurent's question some thought. Still not sure whether Laurent is joking about this plan or not, but attempting at once both not to take the moment too seriously but also not to brush the thought of it off either. Does he think it might go downhill? He supposes it could. There's no guarantee of the success of anything, never mind a relationship.

...if that is even what this is. The truth of the matter is that they have slept together but the once. Laurent made him promise to stay. He's been affectionate with him, especially so thus far today. But that doesn't answer what he wants from him either.

Faolan realizes belatedly that he has fallen silent for a long moment. Wondering whether Laurent has noticed or whether he has merely turned his attentions towards his book instead as he speaks up to say:]

Does that make you uncomfortable?

Does what?

[ Laurent turns the page finally, trying to keep the movement smooth enough not to jostle Faolan.

He knows exactly what he means, of course, but he's choosing to make it a difficult topic. It does make him uncomfortable, after all. He'd rather not speak about it. ]

[Faolan hesitates for a moment, pressing his lips together tightly for a moment, his tongue darting out to wet them before taking in a breath to steel himself to press on.]

Sharing your secrets with me.

[He hesitates, before adding:]

Sharing yourself with me in general.

[Faolan has a feeling he knows the answer even before he's finished asking the question.]

[ This is not at all a conversation compatible with reading a thriller.

Laurent marks his page, not that he got further than two, and closes it again. ]

Is something troubling you?

[ He dislikes evasive discussions. Faolan had been fine a moment ago, but clearl something is nagging at him. He may as well get to the point. ]

[It's not exactly a conversation that's compatible with cuddling against Laurent's side to have either, so. After a moment of hesitation, Faolan moves to push himself to sit up again, balancing the water Laurent had fetched him on his knee as he formulates his reply. It's pretty obvious that something is troubling him, after all. But how to press the issue, when thus far he's not really gotten a straight answer from the other man before... How to press the issue without seeming ungrateful for all that Laurent has arranged for him thus far today.]

Laurent, I... You know that this is not something I can just shut off...

The desire to read my book?

[ Obviously not, but neither is Faolan exactly being clear about what he does mean. ]

[Faolan shoots the younger man an expression which accurately conveys the momentary exasperation he feels at what he can only assume is Laurent being deliberately obtuse at his expense before he takes a deep breath and steadies himself to continue.]

My affections for you.

[He doesn't think he can be more direct about what he is talking about than that.]

You think you might need to shut it off?

[ Laurent sounds perplexed by this, uncertain where it's going or where it's coming from. ]

Are you worried it will interfere with your work? Do you want me to hire someone else?

[ Asked somewhat casually, because Laurent can if he needs to. ]

[Faolan frowns at the suggestion. Haven't they been over this before? He wants this job, he's told Laurent as much. He'll do his best not to let it get in the way of his work, and that's the best he can promise in that regard.]

What? No. I.

[Wouldn't trust anyone else to be good enough anyway.]

No, it's. This. Today. All of it. It's been...

[He toys with the water in his hands again.] You've been affectionate with me. More so than usual. And I... I've enjoyed it. This. But is that part of your present to me, for the day? I. Need to know what this is, Laurent. I need to know...

[How much to expect from him. How much he can be allowed.]

Edited 2017-12-20 00:22 (UTC)

[ They have been over it, which is why Laurent is a little perplexed that they're going over it again.

Still. At the question Laurent's expression darkens. ]

'Part of your present'?

[ What is that supposed to mean? ]

Edited 2017-12-20 00:34 (UTC)

[Faolan realizes that he's probably said the wrong thing the moment that Laurent's face shuts down as it does, but there's no going back from here. He's already started saying it, he might as well finish the thought.]

I... Are you playing it up for me today? Are you playing anything up for me today? Because you've never...

[He cuts himself off, shaking his head before continuing to say:] I just want to know. Is this only for today?

[ Playing it up.

Laurent narrows his eyes slowly, turning this over. ]

If you're going to accuse me of only pretending to enjoy your company perhaps I should begin charging you for my time.

No--!! [Faolan says, quickly.]

No, that's not. I didn't mean it like that, that's not what I...

[He sits forward, setting the water on the table in front of them so he has both his hands free, running them over his face and through his hair before turning back to Laurent. This is not going the way he would have liked...]

I've... Enjoyed today. And I'd like to have more days like today to come. But I don't know if I'm allowed that. I don't know what this is between us, Laurent, beyond what I want it to be. So. I -- I need to know.

What this is?

[ Laurent is all of a sudden amazed that, within this conversation, he is the youngest of the two of them. ]

Have you blacked out the last week or so from your memory?

[ Laurent thought they'd had this part of the conversation too, honestly, even if it wasn't explicit. ]

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject